How dare you call these classes “American History”?
Yes, you may mention a woman or two in passing—
Susan B. Anthony
Elizabeth Cady Stanton
Rosa Parks
Sacajawea
Sojourner Truth & Harriet Beecher Stowe (if we’re lucky)
And surely women have never exactly been in charge of things.
But there were more than six.
Two hundred years from now will you list more than twelve?
Will you list me?
Will anything I will ever do amount to history books?
Surviving this is worthy of history books.
Trekking forth, feeling this goddamn unimportant all-the-while, is worthy of history books.
But what good is this suffering if you won’t even give it a footnote in two hundred years?
I have to make myself important. I have to write my own history—and it is imperative that I do. Until the successes of women are actively recorded, recognized, and appreciated. Until the successes of women are not surprising anomalies. Until important women are not mentioned in passing, but in lessons. Until their names are found not in footnotes but subtitles.
Do not tell me to respect my body by crossing my legs, keeping my knees together, my skirts long and my treatment of my body within your framework.
I respect my body by doing what I please with it.
I respect my body by loving it and all of the things it allows me to do.
I respect my body by being kind to the parts I sometimes don’t enjoy.
I respect my body by understanding that it is my body and is no more or less beautiful than any other.
I respect my body by not being afraid of it.
I respect my body by challenging it with running and dancing.
I respect my body by dressing it in the clothes I see fit and refusing to acknowledge that by societal standards stripes and hounds-tooth clash.
I respect my body by wearing short skirts when I so desire.
I respect my body by wearing sweat pants when I so desire.
I respect my body by recognizing and asserting that it is mine, not society’s, not the patriarchy’s, not catcallers’, not harassers’, not slut-shamers’, exactly no one’s but mine.
And if you can’t see the beauty in someone taking ownership of what has been and will be theirs all of their life (even though the world will tell them otherwise), perhaps you need to gain a little respect.
I already respect my body.
It’s time you start respecting it too.
As stated in the Caitlin Moran quote I posted a few days ago, people sometimes feel they have the knowledge of what you will and will not do later in life with “an odd, aggressive smugness.”
I have been questioned for a lot of my goals. I have been told a number of times that I will have kids. My desire to change my name is constantly questioned. I have been told that I will not major in Gender Studies. As a child, people “knew” I would change my mind about Smith College.
(Okay, I might have kids. But I will be changing my name as soon as possible. I fully intend to major in Gender Studies, and Smith is still my first choice.)
To have this attitude is to say, “your opinion is invalid because it will change.”
This attitude is offensive because it makes the smug assumption that this opinion/goal/thought/whatever will change.
But even if it does change, is it any less valid as it is now? Just because something is not forever does not mean it isn’t entirely real and worth considering. your opinions/thoughts/choices/goals as they are now, are part of who you are now. To discount that, is offensive not only because it makes the assumption that they will change, and the assessment that because of this they are invalid, but because it insults who you are as a person now. It discounts and attempts to invalidate your opinions/thoughts/choices and goals for your current self, which are great indicators of who you are—whether or not they are permanent. Either way, they are worth discussing, thinking about, and taking seriously.
When you talk to a person, you should talk to the person they are currently. Not who you expect them to become. Your expectations are invalid as they are presumed and demeaning to the person in front of you.
“The boy you punched in the hall today. Committed suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut in class today. She’s a virgin. The boy you called lame. He has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the other day. She’s already being abused at home. That girl you called fat. She’s starving herself. The old man you made fun of cause of the ugly scars. He fought for our country. The boy you made fun of for crying. His mother is dying. You think you know them. Guess what? You don’t. Re-post if you are against bullying. I bet 99% of you won’t, but re-post this if you’re that 1% with a heart ♥”
I agree that people must consider the effects of their actions and should not go around being offensive inconsiderate assholes. I think it’s important that people think about these things and understand that everyone is struggling in one way or another. Regardless of these specific situations, it’s really just a matter of respecting all people. You need not assume that you are contributing to and worsening one of the most difficult things in someone’s life to treat them with respect and empathy.
But the reason I didn’t re-post it was not because I am for bullying or don’t have a heart, or even because I don’t like the proclamation that if you don’t re-post it you don’t have a heart and that if you do you automatically do….
“That girl you called a slut in class today. She’s a virgin.”
Even if she weren’t a ‘virgin’, it would still be offensive.
It is also worth noting that one can be deemed a ‘slut’ based on a number of varying actions. One can be deemed a slut for wearing a short skirt, having been raped, using birth control (as Rush Limbaugh has insisted), flirting “too much”, acting in a matter that can be construed as sexual with multiple people, acting “too sexual” with one person, for enjoying sexual acts, for openly discussing sex, reproductive rights, pornography, and so-on. ‘Slut’ is another word used to constantly scrutinize women.
Not only does that statement simplify the issue of the word ‘slut’ and the concept of the virgin-slut dichotomy, it ignores the real problem. The issue here is not whether or not she is actually a ‘slut’. The issue is that she was called a ‘slut’. Whether or not this girl fits the definition of ‘slut’—whatever that may be—to call her one is not to insult her based on her personal choices and actions, it is to insult her on the basis of the virgin-slut dichotomy and whatever misogynistic root it was that made it acceptable to scrutinize her personal choices and actions in the first place.
It has only occurred to me recently the privilege I have in being educated/from an educated family/having both the support and opportunity to be further educated.
I feel foolish for overlooking it, and as much as I struggle for being economically disadvantaged, I am extremely advantaged in that I have not always been. Because of that fact, I grew up in a household where it was expected that I go to college. College is not right for everyone. Higher education should not be denied to those who seek it out, but it is not necessarily the end-all be-all solution in every situation. However, being raised in such an educationally driven environment indubitably increased my grades, work ethic, and ultimate success. I was encouraged and supported in challenging myself, and thus did so readily.
My parents didn’t read to me excessively, but encouraged me to read, and emphasized the importance of doing so. Because our financial situation was not nearly as severe as it is now, my mom was often free to help me learn how to multiply or long divide.
This also means that up until I was 13, I didn’t personally experience classism, and rarely missed out on opportunities due to expenses.
I don’t know that I can name all of the ways my life would be different if I had been born into the situation I am now in.
I do know that it would be very different, and because of those differences, I am privileged. Which I think should be noted if I am to continue discussing the issues I face due to my family’s financial situation.
To the cat-call-ers.
To the sexual abusers.
To the boy who thinks he deserves my friendship because he called me pretty once.
To the makeup ads that tell me I am not enough.
To the laws that tell me I must wear a shirt at all times.
To the rape-apologists.
To the sexist comedians.
To the society who tells me I owe them things. Appreciation, manners, smiles, forgiveness, submission, laughs.
I don’t owe you anything.
You’ve taken plenty from me. Without appreciation, manners, smiles, forgiveness, submission.
But with the laughs.
Obviously, most oppression these days is brushed under the rug.
But classism and economic inequality are usually not recognized as oppression and often not included with other forms.
I figure it’s mostly because, under capitalism, people believe in this whole “trickle-down” concept, or that everyone is either a “have or a soon-to-have” (which, numerically speaking, cannot happen under capitalism). People still follow the “American Dream”, in which hard work equals success and happiness.
It doesn’t.
And when it doesn’t, people do not look to the root of the problem but the people with this problem and label them as lazy.
I don’t have braces, and my mouth is constantly in pain because of it, because of financial struggle.
I have to look for colleges that have no-loan-policies so I don’t graduate college with ridiculous debt.
My boots are horribly worn, but I would feel guilty asking for new ones. So I don’t.
This is my life, and I am fed up with people claiming that I have the same opportunities as everyone else in America, that my mother is lazy (the next person to say that should clean a rich person’s bathroom), and that if I work hard I can do well. That’s not how it works. It could potentially work that way if there were fewer workers than jobs, but there aren’t. Kindly stop pretending that capitalism is only made up of “haves and soon-to-haves”.
While I appreciate this person’s realization that Disney is sexist…
I think there are several better examples of Disney’s sexism. Not to mention their racism, homophobia, and so on and so forth.
I also don’t know that this claim is entirely true. Perhaps this person is seeing these female characters as one dimensional, or doesn’t appreciate their humor? Going around calling them “bitches” certainly doesn’t help the matter either way.
I am, however, not all that familiar with Disney movies. Do you have opinions on this?
I know it’s not all that significant and Disney, is of course, highly flawed. But I’d be interested to hear what other people think about this. Thoughts?
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